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WEEK ONE

Drabble:

He’s angry. 

It’s not a passing feeling of annoyance, not one that makes grind a set of teeth, nor one that has a hand clenching tightly at the side to avoid a snap or two passing the mouth. 

No, it’s the cloying one. The one that makes him frustrated to the point of tears pricking at the edges of his eyes, the one that makes him want to draw visceral lines of red across someone’s cheeks, the one that makes him want to scream bloody murder and act on it without remorse nor delay. 

It’s dangerous. It’s thrilling. 

It’s scary. 

Reflection:

Flow of narrative/does it make sense?

This drabble does make sense. It starts with the simplistic statement of being angry before going into the emotion itself and detailing the two extremes of it. It gives vivid imagery on both sides and clearly indicates which side of the spectrum the narrator sits on before ending with foreboding.

 

Visual/emotional impact:

Given that it’s a drabble focused on a particular emotion as well as describing two major aspects of feeling it, I think it can be emotionally impactful in the way that it’s something relatable to how people experience the emotion of anger themselves. This is particularly reinforced by the visual impact: for example, ‘has a hand clenching tightly at the side to avoid a snap or two passing the mouth’ and ‘the one that makes him want to scream bloody murder and act on it without remorse nor delay’. Both these sentences have a physical sense, id est hand clench and scream/act, which then refers to the emotional relation of letting irritation out (snapping) and being driven to yell in rage and possibly punch someone (scream/act).

 

Was the original intent conveyed/changed in any way?

 

I think when I first started writing this drabble, I wanted to stick to the idea of illustration anger as an emotion that’s dangerous and scary, as mentioned in my last two paragraphs. However, I figured that would just be words strung together with no intent and so I switched to the idea of detailing two sides of anger, mild irritability to extreme rage, and clarifying what side the character is teetering on. I settled with the second option because I wanted to convey that even if this person in the drabble is feeling this uncontrollable anger, there’s some part of him that still felt that it was frightening to be overcome with. It’s in this that I think the last line is important because others could relate to the idea that they know what they’re doing, they know how they’re feeling and how uncontrollable it is, but they can’t really do much about feeling that way in the first place.

 

What was easy?

 

The bigger paragraphs were far easier to write than the one to two sentences at the top and bottom of the drabble which is slightly ironic considering my goal here is to learn concision. However it was easy to get lost in a tangent that slowly ate up my word count before going back through the paragraph and editing what’s needed for the piece to make sense.

I found starting it was easy to do as well. If I want to outline the entirety of this drabble and what it’s about, ‘he’s angry’ is really the only way I would’ve chosen to convey that to start it.

 

What was hard?

 

As mentioned above, the smaller, paragraphs were hard to deal with. Not entirely the first because, as stated above, there was something I wanted to convey. However, for the last two lines I struggled slightly on what words to use to describe the way the character feels towards his own anger. I wanted to illustrate my secondary intention of him reeling back and realizing how angry he is but at the same time he’s helpless to stop it.

 

What changes do I want to make on the second draft based on the criteria set for myself?

I want to change the emotion and, instead of focusing on the two ends of the spectrum, I’ll focus on the same feeling at both the beginning and end. This is to see if I can still get a visual and emotional impact as well as have it be relatable. I also don’t want to struggle too much with the smaller paragraphs and hopefully give any reader pause.

© 2018 by Erika Cabrales

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